A Word From the Elephant (in the room) — -1.0 Deskside, Treewrap Cottage, North Eugene, Oregon, PNW, USA

“I am Superman and I know what’s happening

I am Superman and I can do anything…”

Very recently I found myself shopping for a plane ticket. One way. SFO (San Francisco International Airport) to BKK (Suvarnabhumi International, Bangkok) Leaving sometime in early March 2022. Returning…well sometime after that. Looks like it will cost me 500 bucks and change. A total distance (with a stop in Tokyo) of 12,896 kilometers, flight duration of 16 hours and 921 kilograms of carbon dioxide spewed into the atmosphere.

Well, not bad. Right? Only 921 kilograms (2,030 lbs) of carbon dioxide spewing. Doesn’t sound like a lot. I mean what harm could that do? It’s just gas, right? How does that compare, carbon-footprintwise, to my drive to work everyday? Or flitting up the highway to visit my friend in Portland? And how would I offset that much carbon dioxide say I wanted, for some obscure reason, to save the planet for my brother’s grandchildren?

Well every gallon of gasoline burned creates about 8,887 grams of CO2. That’s more or less 9 kilograms (19.8 lbs). Running errands to buy groceries I probably burn half a gallon. 4.5 kilograms. My work is about 12 miles away. Work truck gets 18 mpg. Call in another 7kgs. One way. Double that, add a run to the hardware store, maybe to the lumber supply, over to Ume Grill for lunch, etc, etc…let’s call it a day burning 5 gallons of gas…45 kg of CO2. (Probably less, because I ride my bike a lot, but on average…)

I’m not a math genius but it seems like my one way flight is roughly equivalent to 20 days of driving.

Hey fantastic! Not bad so far. I’ll be in Thailand, two months in Vietnam, then overland to Cambodia, Laos, maybe boating back to India, sail over to Africa, stop in (by train) to see an old friend in Botswana, hitchhike four thousand or so miles north to hang out with my buddies in Marrakech, ferry boat to Spain, swing west for tapas in Barcelona with King Louis and the Catalonia sisters, train up to Paris with a quick stop in Lisbon and a night or two with some friends of friends near Toulouse. I can’t afford Paris for much more than a week, (and THAT’s couch surfing) so hop on the Eurostar (train through the Chunnel to England) and in an average of 2hrs and 24 minutes I’m in London.

Far-freaking-out! Let’s say by that time, I’ve been on the road for two and a half months. About 80 days. Never drove a car once. Seems like I’ve saved up for four flights! COOL! Take the tube to Heathrow, book a flight home.

London to San Francisco. 8638 kilometers. Ten and a half hours flight time
(stop in Newark, NJ) 632 kilograms of CO2.

Shit! THIS is great! I’ve flown a total of 21,534 kilometers and spewed 1553 kilograms of CO2 into my planet’s irreplaceable atmosphere. But I didn’t drive my truck for 80 days so that’s 3,600 kgs of CO2 I DIDN’ T spew.

But, of course, I did travel so I was certainly spewing SOMETHING. That would be hard to calculate, but what if we just call it about half of what my truck driving spews. So that’s 1800kgs plus 1553kgs equals 3,353 kgs. By traveling around the world I’ve actually SAVED 247kgs of spewing.

THERE! I’ve made my case for traveling! SAVE THE PLANET!

(Sure, sure, sure, I hear you! If I just stayed at home and rode my bicycle everywhere….)

Of course hitchhiking the length of Africa is probably going to kill me, not to mention sailing for cheap across the Arabian Sea surrounded by pirates who want to ransom my ass, or the TAZARA Death Train from Zanzibar to Kapiri Mposhi (it’s actually called the Mukuba Express) That is sure to kill me twice over….Why… with further consideration there is NO WAY I’m going to survive the entire trip….

Son of a bitch! The only safe way to get from there to here is at 35,000 feet in the air!

What the fudge. What do I care? Save the world for WHO? I haven’t even met my brother’s grandchildren. They live in Essex Junction (that’s Vermont). I live in Eugene. (That’s Oregon. A distance of 12,216 air kilometers. 5 hours of flight time. 939 kilograms (2070 lbs) of CO2 spewing. (But it’s only some gas, right?)

Let’s see…..I’d have to not drive my truck for 21 days, just to pay the carbon offset to stop by to say hello. And I hardly know them…..

REALLY? Heck, they’re just kids.

They can take care of themselves…..